Matthew Richter posts daily comments in LinkedIn—well, almost daily. You can follow him and join the conversation by going to http://linkedin.com/in/matthew-richter-0738b84.
For the benefit of our readers, we decide to compile and reprint some of his provocative pieces from the past. Let us know what you think.
What Is Failure?
Popular wisdom is we all fail. Of course, this is true, but what does that mean? 🤷
Traditionally viewed, a failure occurs when one doesn’t succeed reaching an objective.
The problem with this view is it is short term. If I apply for a job and fail to get it, I have indeed failed if my goal was to get hired.
But what if that failure enables me to apply for an even better job that I do get? Or inspires me to practice more? Or to learn a new skill that opens different doors, or leads to a networking event where I meet my future boss at another firm?
The problem with failure is it can often be debilitating and depressing when viewed as a single transaction. So, let’s not do that.
Taken contextually, and as a part of a longer journey, failure can be a steppingstone to one of many more possible positive outcomes.
We’re not saying failing is fun. It can really suck! But it can be a lesson to build on. It can be a mistake we avoid making again. It can be the inspiration to change a bad behavior. The catalyst to work harder or practice more. Or the signal to make a major life change. It can also just be bad luck.
But regardless, it is always just one step, one part of a longer path we all take.
Think nylon, penicillin, the telephone, and many more successes that stemmed from defeats, collapses, or misfires.
Of course, failure can kill you. But, heck... that can only happen once.
Avoiding Failure
Remember the story of the scorpion and frog? The scorpion asks the frog for a ride across a lake. The frog says no way! That the scorpion will sting and kill him. The scorpion replies that is foolish, doing so would kill them both. Considering the risks, the frog reluctantly agrees. Midway across, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog, as he dies, asks why. The scorpion explains as he drowns that he is a scorpion and stinging is what they do. This is certainly a failure of multiple proportions and levels! But could it have been avoided?
The need to avoid failure is both a philosophical and a logistical question. Philosophically, if you view failure as a point on a journey, you may use your mitigation strategies as a method for learning and growing. The frog, had he lived, would have learned a lot about trust. Logistically, however, failing can be quite a damper professionally and personally to your plans and objective life experience. Just ask the frog.
Let’s focus our discussion on the objective experience of failing at something. Could Frog have avoided this catastrophe?
Most of the time, the act of avoiding failure fits into the domain of risk management. Risk management is the act of identifying potential problems, determining their magnitude if they were to become actual problems, and the likelihood they will become problems. Then, for the highest likely and strongest risks, you prioritize plans to mitigate (contingencies) or avoid them. Risk management is incredibly effective if— and only if— the risks that could lead to failure are indeed identified. In other words, if you don’t identify the potential problem, you can’t plan for it. And of course, even the best plans for mitigation can still fail. Frog did run through the risk. He did assess the probability that the scorpion wasn't suicidal. He assessed it as low and unlikely.
In other words, we can't always avoid risks becoming problems that ultimately lead to failures. All we can do is lessen the likelihood.
There are a myriad of ways to conduct risk management. There are traditional methods taught in project management and quality management. More experimental ways are in the areas of improv, storytelling, design thinking, and others. Your mileage may vary. Some things you can do to maximize the likelihood your risk management will work include:
Be clear of your goal.
Distinguish between your goals and the activities for getting to those goals.
Focus your discussion on the goals and not on the activities— in other words, be flexible how you get to the goals.
Use our list of reasons failure happens as a template for brainstorming risk. (link in comments)
Engage as many people as possible as you brainstorm risks and identified mitigation and contingency plans.
Sleep on it. Give yourself time to process and think of more potential problems.
Learn from others' failures. Pay attention to history.
10 Tips for Increasing Resilience When Failure Occurs
Know the goal. Know the purpose. Know the value. It is next to impossible to stay the course and fight the good fight if you are unclear why you are doing so. Any time I waver, lose confidence, or need to dig deep and find that extra oomph, I stop and regroup. I recommit to the goal and to the purpose. I revisit my value to the initiative, and I fully understand the “why” for what I am doing. Without purpose, inner strength disappears quickly.
Persist wisely, not blindly. When necessary, quit, fail fast, or exit gracefully. I am not suggesting you give up any time it gets tough. Rather, the very definition of mental toughness is often knowing when to quit or to change your mind. Sometimes it takes a lot of strength to avoid being stubborn and obtuse. If what you are doing has no value... why continue? If what you are doing has no possibility of succeeding, why pursue it? If what you are doing will hurt you or others, why bother? Persistence for the sake of persistence is stupid. You should persist when success is possible, when morality demands it, and when the goal still matters. Pursue with intent.
Focus on one problem at a time. We all get caught in the multi- tasking cycle. But research has clearly shown multitasking can undermine success and certainly lowers one’s productivity. Take a step back and look at the challenge linearly. What needs to be done? Take on one issue, one task, at a time. Taking the time to create a plan helps. Even if you ultimately ignore it. If multiple actions are required simultaneously, recruit help. Speaking of help...
Ask for help. Nothing undermines your sense of toughness like asking for help. But, this is both silly and untrue. I am shocked when I see managers, leaders, and SMEs bend over backwards to avoid appearing weak asking for aid. Everyone needs help sometimes. More importantly, we forget the integral nature of humanity. Going solo, working alone, solving the world’s problems by yourself is a complete illusion and it’s impossible. Quickly identify, early on, that you need help and ask for it. Anyone who looks at you differently for doing so will soon fail themselves.
Plan, plan, plan, and then dump the plan. Planning prepares you. Take an hour, a day, whatever... and create a project plan. Doing so not only focuses you, but takes the suggestion in Tip # 3 and makes you work the details. Then, as you execute, you know enough to improvise and deviate as needed.
Develop your improv skills. Mental toughness contains a bit of a paradox in your psyche. On one hand, you need to prepare and plan. On the other hand, you need to be able to spontaneously create and improvise as new or divergent issues appear. Be a great planner, but also become a great improviser. As the immortal Clint Eastwood said in the phenomenal movie classic, Heartbreak Ridge, “He didn’t cheat... he improvised, adapted, overcame.
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. All bad things (and all good things) eventually end. History is filled with human problems that no longer matter. I know, this is a bit fatalistic, but it helps me persevere. Eventually, whatever problem you are facing will not mean a thing to anyone. Or, you’ll have solved it. Or, if you held out long enough, another problem took over as the main focus. Anyway you look at it, the issue at hand will rarely by the issue tomorrow. So, give yourself a mental break. If all looks bleak, eventually that will change. For you to see that change, you have to be there to see it. Again, a bit morbid, but the thought helps me.
Paradox #2. Pay attention. History repeats itself. Learn from the past. Just about everything that will happen probably in some capacity has already happened. That does not mean your context doesn’t shift circumstances, rather it means, how others have solved similar problems might give you a jump start understanding how you can solve yours. Just don’t copy their solutions. Adapt them and see if and how they can work. Same with past failures. You can learn a lot from how others have failed trying to do what you are doing.
Ask yourself: Can I do something about it? If yes, stop stressing and do it. If not, stop stressing... nothing you can do.
Finally, stop trying to be mentally tough. If you keep thinking about it, you will avoid getting into the zone. Mihály Csikszentmihályi calls it Flow. Thinking about becoming or being mentally tough will actually undermine your process of persevering. You will think about all the bad aspects of what you are doing and fixate on them. You are doing that cliché: thinking about thinking. Stop! In other words, don’t read articles on mental toughness or listen to speeches on mental toughness. Just do Tips #1-9.